My Name Is Legion

When someone is not happy with your performance they will tell you they are going to go over your head. They are going to take it to the top. The more aggrieved the complainant the more over the top they will go. Which I love. I always assume that the underlying premise is that people believe this sort of threat will inspire some sort of superhuman activity... some frenzied rush to action. Are they expecting some revelation of insight from the bureaucrat? Oh OF COURSE ! What was I THINKING ! That clause of the Act was to be read in conjuction with the Agreement... no wonder my advice conflicted! What have I done! What have I failed to do. What they don't realise is that no matter where they refer the issue there is always going to be one more of me to talk to. For we are many. The threats are of three - taking it to your manager, taking it to my manager, taking it to our manager. Sometimes everyone. Sometimes external agencies... lawyers, accountants, unit coordinator, corp, God, country. Sometimes it turns into an email CC clusterfuck. The absolute best thing is when a torrent of abuse is emailed to every second- and third-tier manager somehow related to the matter... an email written with spittle on the lips... two index fingers jutting out of two fists pounding the shit out of the keys... you feel the need to reach out, if only to wipe the bile from the corner of their mouths. You can imagine that as the email is written the email is shouted to all corners of their shitty cubicle. No need for spell check on this one, NO TIME!!, it's only going to go to the most important (I am taking this to the TOP!) movers and shakers. "Nevre have I been dealth with in such an unproffessional manner!!!" The email is sent, the anger subsides, the torrent of abuse slackens to a mealy mouthed mutter. And then the return email. Out-of-the office assistant auto-response. Your email will be dealt with on my return. You can almost hear the ulcers burst. Like an ear drum rupturing as the breakers roll down on you and pummel you into the shale. The tide will always rip you out. Just accept it. You are nothing to the surf.