313/12*0.50*5.75

Salt the Earth

Black out my name, remove selected pages from my file. Delete all emails (y/n) delete this folder (y/n) reset settings to default (y/n). Forward phone to switchboard, throw my burning chair through a window. Prep files for handover, be dragged apart from a fist fight snarling. Stop giving anything resembling a shit. I'm going to go through you like a dose of salt... I'm going to go...ahhhhhh. To my mind there are two ways to leave the public service (with your shield or on it) if you have severe disagreements with policy, severe antagnosim to managerialism. Unreconcilable extreme hostility. To everything. To 8-4 9-5, to tea breaks, smoko, public service holidays, tradition, the old days, old ways, before your time, the way it's always been, the way it's always done. Immovable intractable. Opinion. Calotes liocephalus. Spineless forest lizard. Hide in the shade, no backbone. Yeah, I remember him. Didn't like it here. That was before your time. Two ways... one way, follow all procedures. Make a complaint, lodge a breach, persue your antagonism. Outline your disagreement and reinforce your argument with the prospect of change, change for the better, change for good, For Good. For good. Then the carefully worded resignation letter- who is going to read that. Manager, once. HR. Maybe. Read it, file it. Your objection has been noted but not sustained. Please complete form for process of termination dues and collect final payslip by post. Please confirm address for receipt of final payslip by post. Leave your options open (right?). It's a tough economic climate, we've all got to eat, just keep your head down. You might need to come back. You never know. Don't make waves. You can have your opinion and eat it. And the third way. (It's the time of Clinton, Blair, Latham, Rudd, New Labor, cooperative labor solutions, mutual agreements, there IS no second way no other way this is the future of the Compassionate Free Market you are chained to it). The third way. I keep thinking about thinking about it... I'm in a cold sweat... the fear of repurcussions untold and a course of action with no recourse of return. It excites me. That final image, a burning chair through a window. I never want to come back. I want to beat down the city, and sow it with salt.

GYWO RIP

Watch Accounts Payable rip Accounts Receivable a new one. Yeah motherfucker. Pop the top button of your shirt and loosen your tie. Shit is going get hairy.

http://www.236.com/video/2008/get_your_war_on_promo_7897.php

GYWO is finished now that the 43rd (He Whose Name Cannot Be Mentioned) has exited stage left. Or stage right. Bit hazy on the details. Lot of undermisrepresentformation out there ever since ole 43 found out that his endless budget cuts means his Secret Service detail only has a shelf life of 15 years post-presidency. Are you at your Ranch? MAYBE? WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS? NO!! NOOO!!! I'M NOT! YOU ARE! FUCKING MOVING TO THE PAKISTAN/AFGHANISTAN BORDER, IF I CAN'T FIND OSAMA THERE, I CAN'T FIND ME THERE. Maybe he can ask his friends for some tips on home protection. You know who I am talking about. That per cent of people who owns most of the per cent of the wealth. Oh yeah, that's right - those people don't have friends. Well, technically they do, but that's because it's not p.c. to own slaves now. Shit, someone has to pick up the drycleaning.

It's probably best GYWO is finished, now you can go watch all of them right through all at once. Sort of like now how you can watch the Sopranos from go-to-whoah. As if you'd want to-- right.

See Vee

GENERAL SKILLS

I am experienced and efficient user of Outlook Express and can quickly familiarise myself with other email applications; have an excellent understanding of Microsoft applications including Word, Excel and PowerPoint; have excellent analytical and synthesis skills; have the ability to consistently meet competitive deadlines; command excellent written and verbal communication skills.

INTERESTS

REFEREES

Mr B. ***********

Senior ******** *********

Department *** ***** ********
Ph: 9***** *****

No-Drama-Obama

I have a half pack of doritos, 500 grams of coffee beans, a bowl of fruit, a litre of soy milk, my notepad, some grimm black metal, a total disinterest in operating at anywhere near an acceptable level at work tomorrow, pride, some avocado on toast, the fever, a range of pillows... It's 2 AM and tomorrow I have to put a tie on and go to work. This is going to be amazing.

"No more war"

(NEIL YOUNG)

"Every Republican in the land should be horsewhipped - and every Democrat too, for that matter. It is a horrible circus and I think LA must be the center ring. [...] I just tried an end run and wrote Lyndon for a job as governor of American Samo; Larry O'Brien wrote back saying I would be given "every consideration". I am going to press for it. [...] If they reject my claim, I am dead. I owe every human being I know, and quite a few I don't know. In all, I may be ready for a giant retrogression myself, but we'll have to talk first. Zingo-HST"

(Hunter S. Thompson, to William J. Kennedy June 24, 1964).

"If I were president, I could stop terrorist attacks against the United states in a few days. Permanently. I would first apologize, very publicly and very sincerely, to all the widows and orphans, the impoverished ad tortured, and all the many millions of other victims of American imperialism. Then I would announce to every corner of the world that America's global military interventions have come to an end. I would then inform Israel that it is no longer the 51st state of the union but-oddly enough-a foreign country. Then I would reduce the military budget by at least 90% and use the savings to pay reparations to the victims and repair the damage from the many American bombings, invasions, and sanctions. There would be more than enough money. One year's military budget in the United States is equal to more than $20,000 per hour for every hour since Jesus Christ was born. That's one year. That's what I'd do on my first three days in the White House.

On the fourth day, I'd be assassinated."

(William Blum, Rogue State, 2000)

No-drama-Obama.

Return to Sender

Today I recieved in the mail an invitation to a Payroll Seminar. Strictly spam. Weird, because it wasn't addressed to me, nor my (unpublished & anonymous) PO Box.

I marked it

PSGA 2k8 4EVA!!!!
R/T/S/
F*** OFF!!!!!!!! *

And gave to my faithful public servant in arms, Post Office Mngr.

In green pen, no less. Unorthodox. I know.







*Faithful reproduction of number of exclamation marks

I Review Nivea (New!) Smooth Indulgence Hand Cream !!

Nivea for Men is one of the leaders in the male skin care market, and this new line will further cement this position. Or so says carefair.com More of the PR masturbatory copy that seems so routine now. Apt. When masturbation stops becoming routine it's just plain weird. I don't want to know how you are spicing up your masturbation. Bra adverts in the Target mail fliers not good enough? Gotta move up to obscure subscription only porn linked from backwater fetish forums online? The type of magazine that comes mailed in a clear wrap (no brown paper bag required for this one) because the porn is too obscure to be readily identified. Ah, it's some sort of instructional magazine for future yoga classes, sir? Enjoy that. Taking a trip to Japan as well are well? Good for you. Be good to get out in the air. You are very pale, sir. You should get some more sun. Tell you what, make me a deal: more sun for you? Shake on it? Wow. Your hands, so soft. So. Wow. For someone who sits inside all day... You must use some amazing hand cream. Who did you borrow that off. You will have to tell me. You will have to tell me who I will have to get that off.

The Clerk of Chatham

CADE
Let me alone. Dost thou use to write thy name? or
hast thou a mark to thyself, like an honest
plain-dealing man?
CLERK
Sir, I thank God, I have been so well brought up
that I can write my name.
ALL
He hath confessed: away with him! he's a villain
and a traitor.
CADE
Away with him, I say! hang him with his pen and
ink-horn about his neck.

Exit one with the Clerk

Timesheet Audit 2

480 minute standard day

less 10 minute coffee break at 0815

less 5 minute conversation break at 0825

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 0826

less 12 minute phone call at 0828

less 10 minute coffee break at 0945

less 5 minute conversation break at 0955

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 0956

less 12 minute phone call at 0958

less 10 minute coffee break at 1615

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 1616

less 12 minute phone call at 1618

less 5 minute conversation break at 1625

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 1626

less 12 minute phone call at 1628

less 10 minute coffee break at 1745

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 1746

less 12 minute phone call at 1748

less 5 minute conversation break at 1755

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 1756

less 12 minute phone call at 1758

Somedays (Some Day)

CC the line manager, liberal use of the word 'advise' throughout my phone patter, short sleeve open neck shirts. Tea bag binned by 815, ink stained sleeves at 430. Do a on Monday so b can be done Tuesday so c is completed by Thursday so d is ready on Friday leading to a the following Monday. My life could be a Kelvinator, wheezing away in the back. Constant temperature. Chip off the ice. Once a year hustle it to the grass and hose the insides out. Some days I think I'd rather be stacking shelves at Woolworths. Some days I think I'd rather be doing anything else. I lie in bed and I think, if I just didn't go to work, if I skipped today, and then did not go the next day, and turn that into a week of leave, and then a month of absence, and changed my phone number, and mark all official correspondence return-to-sender. Who would even notice. Maybe I will throw myself in front of a car. It wouldn't be hard. It would be easy. To terminate this negative feedback loop.

Isn't it Funny How as the Years Extend So Too Does the Distance You Are Required to Stand From the Office When Smoking

Across the road, at the park

On the steps, downwind

In the quadrangle, with other tragics

In the office bar, with other livewires

Anywhere on your floor, two packs a day

At your desk, straight into your bosses face, making him cough and choke and cause spittle to gather in the corner's of his mouth, as he waves his hand in front of his face trying to fan the cloud away, even while you are unleashing another sunblotting mushroom cloud, until he turns away and takes whatever overdue report he wanted amended back to his desk, back to his office, closes his door, and in the future learns a less confrontational approach, learns his lesson.

Kill Your Head 2

Slamdancing the Door on the Way Out

I am looking for a developmental opportunity. I am looking to expand my horizons. I need to be challenged (not a challenge), I need to structure (not to be structured), I need an environment that offers accountability and responsive management (not fist fights with the boss). Yes to: have developed skills over 2 years past that I am keen to apply to a new set of circumstances in an at-level transfer within the Department. No to: let me out of this hell hole before I fucking crack. Don't tell them you need to escape the stifling heat created by so many jerks blowing hot air out of their arses. That you don't find yourself capable of anything other than menial administration, regardless of your attempts to pad your CV and boast about your IQ. That your cubicle is closing in and you are going to crack. That you need to cut the cord but can't accept a dole queue. Don't give them something they can hold against you, mark you down. You need this. You need this. Don't give them quarter.

CC Clusterfuck

__________________________________________________________________

Subj: FWD: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:
CC: dr1_dl; dr2_dl
BCC: (me)

Body:

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Bureaucrat's Antithesis (Dead Weight)

Owns no shoes. No watch. Wears bead bracelets and friendship bands made from coloured string and raw leather hide twists. Does not buy clothes. Does not change clothes. Opts not for a towel but to drip dry on the beach. Possibly does not own a towel (does not carry dead weight when travelling). Does not read on the train reads all the time. Inhales books. Inhales books from libraries. Drinks jasmine tea out of small glasses. Has considered opinions about some things. Has opinions on all things. Pot. Alcohol. Can wear a suit, can count times has worn suit on hand. All year tan. Leaves books in hostels in south american countries (does not carry dead weight). Lives off savings, lives off mum. Calico bags, potting plants. Wakes up in the morning and thinks, I am going to do only what I want to do today, and that could be anything. And rolls over and sleeps to late morning.