Saturday, February 28, 2009

Payroll Is A Helluva Drug

1. The Time To Stop Payroll Is Now

"I'll quit tomorrow" is a euphemism for "I have no intention of quitting today."

2. You Should Stop All Human Resource Management Integrated Systems at Once, Not Gradually

Because HRMIS withdrawal can cause depression, HRMIS usage should be stopped in a suportive setting.

3. Stop Using All Other HRMIS, Including Talent 2 and Oracle

Perhaps Talent 2 and Oracle have never caused them any difficulties; they feel that they have a specific problem with Empower.

4. Change Your Life-Style

Payroll Users cannot associate with Payroll-using companions.

5. Whenever Possible, Avoid Situations, People and Places That Cause Payroll Urges

Passing a Payroll Urge today does not mean that one will be able to resist Payroll Urges tomorrow. In fact, the resulting overconfidence from passing such a test may decrease the likelihood of abstaining from calling Payroll Services. We therefore strongly advise Payroll Users to avoid such tests.

6. Look For Other Rewards

Payroll Users frequently forget how to treat themselves well and enjoy themselves while Payroll Free.

7. Take Good Care of Your Body: Eat Right and Exercise Your Right to Discriminate Against All Payroll Services

Researchers at xxxx Hospital in xxxx have found that vitamin deficiencies are quite common in Payroll Users. This is not surprising, because Payroll is an appetite suppressant.



(with apologies to Cocaine By Mirin Weiss, Dr Stevenm Mirin, Dr Roxanne Bartel)

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Drop Out Of Life...



...Snowboard in Hand

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Office New Year Wrap Up Party

What will your boss think of you
What will your girlfriend think of you
All the people on the street they'll glare at you

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

January 26, celebrations of Ozstensibilysettlingofaportformercantileinterests Day

"East India Company [was] a private company with a charter, and a monopoly over whole quadrant of the globe, the east coast of Australia included, till 1819, when it expired and was not renewed. (To go ahead with a settlement in New South Wales the British Government had actually (sic) to secure the Company's approval)." (David Malouf, Made in England, p.39).

Tuesday, February 3, 2009