Dead is Dead is Dead

SOUL OF PANTHER IS DEAD
LONG LIVE KNX HAIR KING
knxlife.tumblr.com

No more payroll

Amazing Conversations I Thought I Would Have With My Grandma But Have Instead Had With My Co-workers 2

DON'T TURN IT OFF OTHERWISE HOW WILL I MAKE CALLS? (as I hand them their mobile phone)

Amazing Conversations I Thought I Would Have With My Grandma But Have Instead Had With My Co-workers 1

MY COMPUTER FROZE AND NOW I CAN'T LOGIN (frantically double clicks screendump of login screen that has been emailed to them)

Timesheet Audit 3

9:10 close enough to 8:30. clock in
9:20 breakfast at desk
9:35 turn on computer
13:30 report computer fault
13:35 lunch
14:10 lunch
14:40 lunch
15:00 lunch
15:10 hometime!

Failure

Failure

I Wish I Was Accounts Receivable 2

[some time later]

Accounts Recieved I am going to send you some paperwork back
Office Are they not the originals
Accounts Receivable Do you even know what you are doing?
Office (...)
Accounts Receivable Because I don't think you do.
Office Just send me the paperwork
Accounts Recievable Don't forget original proformas!
Office I
Accounts Receiveable OkHaveANiceWeekendGoodBye

I Wish I Was Accounts Receivable

Office Why is this papework returned
Accounts payable You need to send the original proforma
Office It was
Accounts payable No it wasn't. It has been returned
Office I am looking at it. It is not a copy
Accounts payable Yes it is
Office No it is not
Accounts payable My boss says it looks like a copy
Office Well it's not
Accounts payable Well send it back
Office Why couldn't you have rung to sort this out?
Accounts payable What's one day?
Office Two days post up two days post down two day weekend deadline missed three week delay
Accounts payable Send me the original proforma

Time

Time and time again

Limited Power And The People That Exercise It

'Oh hay, that's okay, these will all go into one bag.'
'NO THEY WON'T. THESE WILL GO INTO ONE BAG. THESE WILL GO INTO ANOTHER BAG. THE BAGS ARE THIN. THEY WILL BREAK. I DON'T WANT YOU COMING BACK TO ME AND GIVING ME THAT RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR BROKEN TOMATO'
'Oh okay then... I guess... that could be fine.'
Waits until groceries are packed into two bags. Unpacks them. Packs groceries into one bag. Leaves. Accepts the responsibility of the broke tomato.

Real Life Encounters

I’m so busy, she said. You know those days when you have a list of things to do and you just don’t get around to doing them. I have to leave bit earlier today, have to pick my kid up at 4, that’s alright, I’m here enough, what’s fifteen minutes. Look, I’ll just put 4 on my timesheet, what’s the difference. Only fifteen minutes. Oh no – I eat my lunch at my desk! Far too busy. Look, she says, digging in her handbag. I just have to go out, quick cigarette. I might just up the street as well. Might as well. I’ve got to get a stationary order, post office. While I’m there I might as well – do you have a lighter, no, okay I think I know where mine – might as well do some shopping, pick up dinner. Only quick, got to go and get. Look, she says, picking up a cup with a fat teabag sunk in estuarine water. I haven’t even had time to finish my tea! Yeah, no, just nicked a teabag from the kitchenette. I’m not putting in five bucks towards the kitty, no way. Too tight to give you a measly teabag round here. Cigarette, lighter. I haven’t even had time to check my email. Shit, phone. She lets it ring, then dumps her handbag under her desk and puts a cigarette and lighter next to a bunch of fluoro-haired troll dolls with keychains winding out their anuses and takes the phone off the cradle and puts it to her ear. Hello. Speaking. Yeah. Yeah. Look, let me just, look I’ve been so busy, let me just put you on hold – hey, where’s that file, she asks, cradling the phone to her ear, hands free. Yep that’s the one. Flicks through and then spreads the file flat with one hand, holds a post it note between finger and thumb. Did you order this? No, I thought you were going to. I haven’t even had time to check my email. I thought you. Okay. Shit. You there? No look, I haven’t even had time to check my email, I’m surprised you didn’t get it, was ordered and. No, I’ve been that busy. I’ll make a phone call. But I don’t know when, I’m just so – hang on. She covers the mouthpiece with one hand and the file folds up and slips off the desk. Shit. Distracted, her hands float to her hair, patting down the grey blonde streaks. Her eyes line up with the other woman standing absentmindedly at her own desk across the partition and she says, Hey, before you go, don’t forget to show me. Yeah, that video. Yeah it’s supposed to be. Hi, you there? Sorry about that. Look, I’ll have to let you go. Yeh, got another call. Yeh, go-go-go. Yep. No I won’t be in this afternoon. 4. Yep. Work-related. Tell you what, email me. Yep. Will do. Okay. She hangs up, and drops her hands palm down, thick bracelets up her arms bang heavy on the prefab desk. Tell you what, talk! Anyway, ciggy time. I’ve earned it. Where did I put. You know I’ve been so busy. Yeah, look, tomorrow, if you can order. Yeah. You’re not in. Guess can wait until Monday. Oh well. We’re busy, just have to do. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Honey Is For Winter. Stingers Are For Killing (let me out of this cold cold world) (hive 1 & hive 2)

Hive 1.
Being a bureaucrat means always sitting inside being cold. Why are the air conditioners always turned up so high. Somedays I get to work before the sun gets up and get home after the sun goes down and eat my lunch in the tea-room ... no vitamin D, sitting in perma-frost, pale skin. My ears hurt from the whine of the air conditioning vents, computer fans. I want to punch a hole in the wall and let some of that sunshine in. From here the sun looks tangible, viscous. The heat from the asphalt on the highway running out of town making the horizon wavy, watery. Horizon dripping out of the sky into the land. All that sun washing over the the buildings and frying the grass. You can almost see the grass burning. If I punched a wall it would drip in like honey. I wouldn't steal the sunshinehoney. It's not mine to steal.

Hive 2.
Stealing honey from bees makes me uncomfortable. When I watch that advert on television I don't think I am seeing the same thing as other people. You know the advert I am talking about. Fresh food people. Woolworths. Or maybe it's Coles (why don't they fucking merge already, sick of the faux-differentiation. A choice between two high bulk carrier retailers is not a choice so take it away. Police state now. Fascist state now. Cuba state now). Old man loves toast - loves toast - so much he gets a fresh loaf every morning (a whole loaf? How much toast does he eat? Bread lasts more than a day. That Woolworths shit lasts a year. And you're cooking it. Fuck. Being a day old isn't going to make a difference to the toast, sleep in an hour already). Him sitting at the table, by himself, talking to himself (the camera, sure, but really himself, let's keep that fourth wall up. "Little bit of buttttteerrrr, annnnnnnd- some honey." Close up of the honey. "I stole that." Heh.Heh.Heh. "I love toast." Heh.Heh.Heh. Bee swarm attack. Kill the old man. Honey is for winter. Stingers are for killing.

ADMI NKNX

Goonoonoorang endless summer perma-vacation

adminknx

Write it across my knuckles like the Pitfall shirt

New Direction

THERE WILL NOT BE ANY MORE stagedives, cage dancing, cafe, financial review, being a big fish in a small pond and king of the muckheap, yelling at my phone, taking voicemail messages while listening to voicemail messages, two word emails, giving my boss the finger and the office a spray, film festivals, turntables

BUT THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF hot nights, black bean burritos, always being number 1 and still the one, bullshit paperwork, filing, talking to HR, signing in duplicate and triplicate, jammed photocopiers will never go away, and neither will 'this file is corrupt'. Meetings, clients, casual dress codes, abuse, phone calls, abuse, phone calls, abuse, a door to slam and an attitude to match, the mundane, the trivial, tv-on-dvd, Amazon, Ebay.

I am going to take this job and shove it and then take this other job and really give it a go. I've never been the recommended applicant and I never plan to be. You expect second best I'll give you the worst. Paiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin. I have never failed to fail.

Shell As Hard As Steel

We are the underdogs

Drinking With Your Work Mates

Every so often I want to go to work in a striped blue shirt and shotgun Red Bull and drink at lunch time and fire off emails and make snappy banter and slap girls on the arse and Slamdunk the Henderson Account and reply to a dozen or so of my 500 emails and walk around my cubicle with my bluetooth and go jogging right before hitting the pub/nightclub/girlfriend/ATM/kebab stand/train station/bottom of what I thought was a bottomless well of despair.

***In my head I have this whole metaphor worked out about how the well is deep and it's full of water (despair) and you can float on water and when you (the well) are (is) full of despair (water) you float back to the top but mostly I want to go back to making rape jokes about Vice Presidents.

Pocketing my cufflinks and rolling up my sleeves and synchronising my Outlook Calendar and she didn't say no but she didn't exactly say yes and talking about clients and charging it to the expense account and eating Chinese and hi-fiving and dancing while always holding my beer in one hand and an ass in the other and still talking about work and walking home with my tie in my back pocket and my shirt half pulled out and punching the wall on every alternate step and saying i HATE (punch) myself i HATE (punch) myself .

Blaming the cuts on my fists to a fishing accident. Talking about that promotion. Getting that raise. I'm in hell.

Foxes in Steel Traps

You Feel Trapped You Feel
Nothing Cardboard Cell Cardboard Jail
The Process Has You

To Fight The Process
You Can't Help But Fight The Process
The Process Will Win

Complete All The Forms
Submit All Forms By The Deadline
You Lose The Forms You

Sign Where Marked Sign Here
Tick Marked Tick Here Check Marked Check Here
You Miss One Box You

Call The HR Line
Dial 1 For... Dial 2 For... To Hear...
You Are On Hold You

Lose You Lose Your Mind
Your Spirit Your Fight The Process
Has You It Has You

Grey Carpet Grey Suit
I Was Not Always Like This You
Know. Now You Don't Know.

Returning From Leave 2

You are the furthermost point from taking more leave. Suffer.

Preparing For The Interview With The Panel

We'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for your time. We expect to shortlist in the upcoming week and GGGRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH

Returning From Leave

Returning From Leave.

Cons: Month-old emails, full voicemail, the orange in your drawer you thought you tossed, reading minutes of meetings you didn't attend, trying to find who borrowed your cup, adjusting your chair back to how you like it, explaining how your holiday was in one sentence, coming up-to-speed (sic) with new departmental policy

Pros: Jerking off in the toilet cubicle (again)

I Review Clinique Liquid Fash Wash Regular Strength !!

GQUK called this their face wash of the year (2008). GQUK called Clinique's entire range the best of the year (2008). I can never tell when GQUK is being completely legitimate. It is not to say that Clinique's advertising dollars buy more than ad space... or that 'articles' [http://tinyurl.com/ccsysy] on the magazine's website are little more than info stubs... (although the 30-odd words do get a byline. Way to strain yourself Jamie Millar. Must have stayed up night sweating over the hyphen in oil-free). But something definitely rubs the wrong way. Clinique definitely doesn't rub the wrong way (WHAT A LEAD IN!!!). Nice lather, lasts a suitable amount of time (about an office day), compliments other products outside of the Clinique range. Sometimes scents clash, or the intensity of one product overpowers another, but no such trouble with the Liquid Face Wash Regular Strength. But I don't know that Clinique's range for men would survive scrutiny on its own merit, without the Clinique range. The argument being that Clinique may stand for quality, but quality in women's products. So the transfer of authority and prestige is not so apparent. Maybe GQ needs to do a blind test. But then maybe they are afraid Pepsi would feel nicer as a Liquid Face Wash. I had this idea once that coffee in the shower was the ultimate start to the day. This was when I was trying to model my self as a late-twenties-vice-president. You know what I am talking about. Striped blue shirts. Red Bull. Take-no-prisoners, don't-bullshit-a-bullshitter. I am so busy I need to drink in the shower and change into my suit in my office. That's why I sleep with the secretary. Multitask. I figure she can buy the flowers she wants with the money from the harassment settlement (again, multitask). Anyway, drinking coffee in the shower meant I had to change to drinking long blacks. I need to be drinking coffee longer than the conditioner sits in my hair, otherwise what's the point. Might as well drink at my kitchen nook like all the other plebs. Two things always used to happen when drinking coffee. One was I would mistake my coffee cup for my shave rinse jar and end up scraping stubble off my chin with Fiori Single Estate Roast grounds. The other was inevitably I would spill coffee on my face while in the shower. I learned that people called me Two Face because one side of my face was always scalded (that is the reason right??), Clinique Liquid Face Wash Regular Strength is a better substitute than coffee, even if it cannot be said to be wildly better than other Face Wash products, and the Vice President life is not for me. Especially if I am not actually a Vice President.

Payroll Is A Helluva Drug

1. The Time To Stop Payroll Is Now

"I'll quit tomorrow" is a euphemism for "I have no intention of quitting today."

2. You Should Stop All Human Resource Management Integrated Systems at Once, Not Gradually

Because HRMIS withdrawal can cause depression, HRMIS usage should be stopped in a suportive setting.

3. Stop Using All Other HRMIS, Including Talent 2 and Oracle

Perhaps Talent 2 and Oracle have never caused them any difficulties; they feel that they have a specific problem with Empower.

4. Change Your Life-Style

Payroll Users cannot associate with Payroll-using companions.

5. Whenever Possible, Avoid Situations, People and Places That Cause Payroll Urges

Passing a Payroll Urge today does not mean that one will be able to resist Payroll Urges tomorrow. In fact, the resulting overconfidence from passing such a test may decrease the likelihood of abstaining from calling Payroll Services. We therefore strongly advise Payroll Users to avoid such tests.

6. Look For Other Rewards

Payroll Users frequently forget how to treat themselves well and enjoy themselves while Payroll Free.

7. Take Good Care of Your Body: Eat Right and Exercise Your Right to Discriminate Against All Payroll Services

Researchers at xxxx Hospital in xxxx have found that vitamin deficiencies are quite common in Payroll Users. This is not surprising, because Payroll is an appetite suppressant.



(with apologies to Cocaine By Mirin Weiss, Dr Stevenm Mirin, Dr Roxanne Bartel)

Drop Out Of Life...

...Snowboard in Hand

Payroll Is A Gang 2

Office New Year Wrap Up Party

What will your boss think of you
What will your girlfriend think of you
All the people on the street they'll glare at you

January 26, celebrations of Ozstensibilysettlingofaportformercantileinterests Day

"East India Company [was] a private company with a charter, and a monopoly over whole quadrant of the globe, the east coast of Australia included, till 1819, when it expired and was not renewed. (To go ahead with a settlement in New South Wales the British Government had actually (sic) to secure the Company's approval)." (David Malouf, Made in England, p.39).

Kill Your Head 3

313/12*0.50*5.75

Salt the Earth

Black out my name, remove selected pages from my file. Delete all emails (y/n) delete this folder (y/n) reset settings to default (y/n). Forward phone to switchboard, throw my burning chair through a window. Prep files for handover, be dragged apart from a fist fight snarling. Stop giving anything resembling a shit. I'm going to go through you like a dose of salt... I'm going to go...ahhhhhh. To my mind there are two ways to leave the public service (with your shield or on it) if you have severe disagreements with policy, severe antagnosim to managerialism. Unreconcilable extreme hostility. To everything. To 8-4 9-5, to tea breaks, smoko, public service holidays, tradition, the old days, old ways, before your time, the way it's always been, the way it's always done. Immovable intractable. Opinion. Calotes liocephalus. Spineless forest lizard. Hide in the shade, no backbone. Yeah, I remember him. Didn't like it here. That was before your time. Two ways... one way, follow all procedures. Make a complaint, lodge a breach, persue your antagonism. Outline your disagreement and reinforce your argument with the prospect of change, change for the better, change for good, For Good. For good. Then the carefully worded resignation letter- who is going to read that. Manager, once. HR. Maybe. Read it, file it. Your objection has been noted but not sustained. Please complete form for process of termination dues and collect final payslip by post. Please confirm address for receipt of final payslip by post. Leave your options open (right?). It's a tough economic climate, we've all got to eat, just keep your head down. You might need to come back. You never know. Don't make waves. You can have your opinion and eat it. And the third way. (It's the time of Clinton, Blair, Latham, Rudd, New Labor, cooperative labor solutions, mutual agreements, there IS no second way no other way this is the future of the Compassionate Free Market you are chained to it). The third way. I keep thinking about thinking about it... I'm in a cold sweat... the fear of repurcussions untold and a course of action with no recourse of return. It excites me. That final image, a burning chair through a window. I never want to come back. I want to beat down the city, and sow it with salt.

GYWO RIP

Watch Accounts Payable rip Accounts Receivable a new one. Yeah motherfucker. Pop the top button of your shirt and loosen your tie. Shit is going get hairy.

http://www.236.com/video/2008/get_your_war_on_promo_7897.php

GYWO is finished now that the 43rd (He Whose Name Cannot Be Mentioned) has exited stage left. Or stage right. Bit hazy on the details. Lot of undermisrepresentformation out there ever since ole 43 found out that his endless budget cuts means his Secret Service detail only has a shelf life of 15 years post-presidency. Are you at your Ranch? MAYBE? WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS? NO!! NOOO!!! I'M NOT! YOU ARE! FUCKING MOVING TO THE PAKISTAN/AFGHANISTAN BORDER, IF I CAN'T FIND OSAMA THERE, I CAN'T FIND ME THERE. Maybe he can ask his friends for some tips on home protection. You know who I am talking about. That per cent of people who owns most of the per cent of the wealth. Oh yeah, that's right - those people don't have friends. Well, technically they do, but that's because it's not p.c. to own slaves now. Shit, someone has to pick up the drycleaning.

It's probably best GYWO is finished, now you can go watch all of them right through all at once. Sort of like now how you can watch the Sopranos from go-to-whoah. As if you'd want to-- right.

See Vee

GENERAL SKILLS

I am experienced and efficient user of Outlook Express and can quickly familiarise myself with other email applications; have an excellent understanding of Microsoft applications including Word, Excel and PowerPoint; have excellent analytical and synthesis skills; have the ability to consistently meet competitive deadlines; command excellent written and verbal communication skills.

INTERESTS

REFEREES

Mr B. ***********

Senior ******** *********

Department *** ***** ********
Ph: 9***** *****

No-Drama-Obama

I have a half pack of doritos, 500 grams of coffee beans, a bowl of fruit, a litre of soy milk, my notepad, some grimm black metal, a total disinterest in operating at anywhere near an acceptable level at work tomorrow, pride, some avocado on toast, the fever, a range of pillows... It's 2 AM and tomorrow I have to put a tie on and go to work. This is going to be amazing.

"No more war"

(NEIL YOUNG)

"Every Republican in the land should be horsewhipped - and every Democrat too, for that matter. It is a horrible circus and I think LA must be the center ring. [...] I just tried an end run and wrote Lyndon for a job as governor of American Samo; Larry O'Brien wrote back saying I would be given "every consideration". I am going to press for it. [...] If they reject my claim, I am dead. I owe every human being I know, and quite a few I don't know. In all, I may be ready for a giant retrogression myself, but we'll have to talk first. Zingo-HST"

(Hunter S. Thompson, to William J. Kennedy June 24, 1964).

"If I were president, I could stop terrorist attacks against the United states in a few days. Permanently. I would first apologize, very publicly and very sincerely, to all the widows and orphans, the impoverished ad tortured, and all the many millions of other victims of American imperialism. Then I would announce to every corner of the world that America's global military interventions have come to an end. I would then inform Israel that it is no longer the 51st state of the union but-oddly enough-a foreign country. Then I would reduce the military budget by at least 90% and use the savings to pay reparations to the victims and repair the damage from the many American bombings, invasions, and sanctions. There would be more than enough money. One year's military budget in the United States is equal to more than $20,000 per hour for every hour since Jesus Christ was born. That's one year. That's what I'd do on my first three days in the White House.

On the fourth day, I'd be assassinated."

(William Blum, Rogue State, 2000)

No-drama-Obama.

Return to Sender

Today I recieved in the mail an invitation to a Payroll Seminar. Strictly spam. Weird, because it wasn't addressed to me, nor my (unpublished & anonymous) PO Box.

I marked it

PSGA 2k8 4EVA!!!!
R/T/S/
F*** OFF!!!!!!!! *

And gave to my faithful public servant in arms, Post Office Mngr.

In green pen, no less. Unorthodox. I know.







*Faithful reproduction of number of exclamation marks

I Review Nivea (New!) Smooth Indulgence Hand Cream !!

Nivea for Men is one of the leaders in the male skin care market, and this new line will further cement this position. Or so says carefair.com More of the PR masturbatory copy that seems so routine now. Apt. When masturbation stops becoming routine it's just plain weird. I don't want to know how you are spicing up your masturbation. Bra adverts in the Target mail fliers not good enough? Gotta move up to obscure subscription only porn linked from backwater fetish forums online? The type of magazine that comes mailed in a clear wrap (no brown paper bag required for this one) because the porn is too obscure to be readily identified. Ah, it's some sort of instructional magazine for future yoga classes, sir? Enjoy that. Taking a trip to Japan as well are well? Good for you. Be good to get out in the air. You are very pale, sir. You should get some more sun. Tell you what, make me a deal: more sun for you? Shake on it? Wow. Your hands, so soft. So. Wow. For someone who sits inside all day... You must use some amazing hand cream. Who did you borrow that off. You will have to tell me. You will have to tell me who I will have to get that off.

The Clerk of Chatham

CADE
Let me alone. Dost thou use to write thy name? or
hast thou a mark to thyself, like an honest
plain-dealing man?
CLERK
Sir, I thank God, I have been so well brought up
that I can write my name.
ALL
He hath confessed: away with him! he's a villain
and a traitor.
CADE
Away with him, I say! hang him with his pen and
ink-horn about his neck.

Exit one with the Clerk

Timesheet Audit 2

480 minute standard day

less 10 minute coffee break at 0815

less 5 minute conversation break at 0825

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 0826

less 12 minute phone call at 0828

less 10 minute coffee break at 0945

less 5 minute conversation break at 0955

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 0956

less 12 minute phone call at 0958

less 10 minute coffee break at 1615

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 1616

less 12 minute phone call at 1618

less 5 minute conversation break at 1625

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 1626

less 12 minute phone call at 1628

less 10 minute coffee break at 1745

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 1746

less 12 minute phone call at 1748

less 5 minute conversation break at 1755

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 1756

less 12 minute phone call at 1758

Somedays (Some Day)

CC the line manager, liberal use of the word 'advise' throughout my phone patter, short sleeve open neck shirts. Tea bag binned by 815, ink stained sleeves at 430. Do a on Monday so b can be done Tuesday so c is completed by Thursday so d is ready on Friday leading to a the following Monday. My life could be a Kelvinator, wheezing away in the back. Constant temperature. Chip off the ice. Once a year hustle it to the grass and hose the insides out. Some days I think I'd rather be stacking shelves at Woolworths. Some days I think I'd rather be doing anything else. I lie in bed and I think, if I just didn't go to work, if I skipped today, and then did not go the next day, and turn that into a week of leave, and then a month of absence, and changed my phone number, and mark all official correspondence return-to-sender. Who would even notice. Maybe I will throw myself in front of a car. It wouldn't be hard. It would be easy. To terminate this negative feedback loop.

Isn't it Funny How as the Years Extend So Too Does the Distance You Are Required to Stand From the Office When Smoking

Across the road, at the park

On the steps, downwind

In the quadrangle, with other tragics

In the office bar, with other livewires

Anywhere on your floor, two packs a day

At your desk, straight into your bosses face, making him cough and choke and cause spittle to gather in the corner's of his mouth, as he waves his hand in front of his face trying to fan the cloud away, even while you are unleashing another sunblotting mushroom cloud, until he turns away and takes whatever overdue report he wanted amended back to his desk, back to his office, closes his door, and in the future learns a less confrontational approach, learns his lesson.

Kill Your Head 2

Slamdancing the Door on the Way Out

I am looking for a developmental opportunity. I am looking to expand my horizons. I need to be challenged (not a challenge), I need to structure (not to be structured), I need an environment that offers accountability and responsive management (not fist fights with the boss). Yes to: have developed skills over 2 years past that I am keen to apply to a new set of circumstances in an at-level transfer within the Department. No to: let me out of this hell hole before I fucking crack. Don't tell them you need to escape the stifling heat created by so many jerks blowing hot air out of their arses. That you don't find yourself capable of anything other than menial administration, regardless of your attempts to pad your CV and boast about your IQ. That your cubicle is closing in and you are going to crack. That you need to cut the cord but can't accept a dole queue. Don't give them something they can hold against you, mark you down. You need this. You need this. Don't give them quarter.

CC Clusterfuck

__________________________________________________________________

Subj: FWD: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:
CC: dr1_dl; dr2_dl
BCC: (me)

Body:

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Bureaucrat's Antithesis (Dead Weight)

Owns no shoes. No watch. Wears bead bracelets and friendship bands made from coloured string and raw leather hide twists. Does not buy clothes. Does not change clothes. Opts not for a towel but to drip dry on the beach. Possibly does not own a towel (does not carry dead weight when travelling). Does not read on the train reads all the time. Inhales books. Inhales books from libraries. Drinks jasmine tea out of small glasses. Has considered opinions about some things. Has opinions on all things. Pot. Alcohol. Can wear a suit, can count times has worn suit on hand. All year tan. Leaves books in hostels in south american countries (does not carry dead weight). Lives off savings, lives off mum. Calico bags, potting plants. Wakes up in the morning and thinks, I am going to do only what I want to do today, and that could be anything. And rolls over and sleeps to late morning.