Monday, November 24, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
It's My Senior Year and All I Can Think About Is My Career
Job 1
3 month non ongoing position seeking highly experienced staff
We are seeking enthusiastic candidates who enjoy the payroll world
I can think of more enthusiastic euthanasia candidates. Although, there is little difference between the two. Both are stymied by a Brazilesque/Panopticon/Kafka nightmare in their search for Release.
Job 2
[...] encourages Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, women, people with disabilities and people form (sic) culturally diverse backgrounds [...]
You think Ctrl+V would be easier than Shift+F7 but it looks like whatever office lackey wrote up this job application omitted to do either. Evidence also that HR likes to quality assure their shit... size, weight, smell, texture, buoyancy.
Job 3
Applicants should demonstrate a commitment to the core values of the AFP.
I think this is management-ese for tasering 16 year olds... Or wearing black utility belts... or something.
All these applications are going to recieve an A4 profile shot with my Skillz - txting, downloading free porn pass .torrents, sleeping off a hangover - written across the page in silver pen. Save yourself the trouble of knocking off at 5 and knock yourself off altogether. Slavery is freedom.
3 month non ongoing position seeking highly experienced staff
We are seeking enthusiastic candidates who enjoy the payroll world
I can think of more enthusiastic euthanasia candidates. Although, there is little difference between the two. Both are stymied by a Brazilesque/Panopticon/Kafka nightmare in their search for Release.
Job 2
[...] encourages Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, women, people with disabilities and people form (sic) culturally diverse backgrounds [...]
You think Ctrl+V would be easier than Shift+F7 but it looks like whatever office lackey wrote up this job application omitted to do either. Evidence also that HR likes to quality assure their shit... size, weight, smell, texture, buoyancy.
Job 3
Applicants should demonstrate a commitment to the core values of the AFP.
I think this is management-ese for tasering 16 year olds... Or wearing black utility belts... or something.
All these applications are going to recieve an A4 profile shot with my Skillz - txting, downloading free porn pass .torrents, sleeping off a hangover - written across the page in silver pen. Save yourself the trouble of knocking off at 5 and knock yourself off altogether. Slavery is freedom.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Office Christmas Party I
Are you a good team player
remember the boss is your best friend
kill your head.
remember the boss is your best friend
kill your head.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Bus People
"Tell kids...don't do drugs man. Don't smoke pot. Drugs. Will get you no where."
***turns away to smoke cigarette
"Won't be able to buy a house, buy shoes, buy clothes, buy camera, buy nothing, buy a bike."
***turns away to smoke cigarette
"Crime doesn't pay. Unless it's organised. DOES ANYONE WANT SOME WEED. Let's see what I've got in my bag of tricks here her her her her let's see. Tonight."
***turns away to look down the road
"Tonight I'm going to go to my friends house for a tab of speed. Methinks. Yeah. Speed. Her her her her.
[mumbles]
"Think anyone will get their nose broke in the city tonight. Get their heads kicked in. Big fights. Yeah always big fights in the city.
"Look at me in the middle of the street in the middle of the day cops ain't arresting me - you want some?"
***indicates to girl next to him. Girl has descendents and straight edge tattoos. Girl: I don't do drugs
"I ain't afraid of nobody I don't care who they are, what size they are, what club they belong to... I'll fight em. If they say shit and throw the first punch I'll fight em. I don't care. I don't give a shit. I don't care. I'll fight anyone. 12 months in jail, doesn't mean anything. 18 months. My friend did 18 months; killed a guy. 18 months for killing a guy. Didn't mean nothing. I'd fight anyone."
Bus pulls up. Man elects to stay behind. Girl stands up to walk away, man continues to talk. Girl continues to listen. Her face looks like she has smelled the bottom of her shoe after stepping in something soft.
***turns away to smoke cigarette
"Won't be able to buy a house, buy shoes, buy clothes, buy camera, buy nothing, buy a bike."
***turns away to smoke cigarette
"Crime doesn't pay. Unless it's organised. DOES ANYONE WANT SOME WEED. Let's see what I've got in my bag of tricks here her her her her let's see. Tonight."
***turns away to look down the road
"Tonight I'm going to go to my friends house for a tab of speed. Methinks. Yeah. Speed. Her her her her.
[mumbles]
"Think anyone will get their nose broke in the city tonight. Get their heads kicked in. Big fights. Yeah always big fights in the city.
"Look at me in the middle of the street in the middle of the day cops ain't arresting me - you want some?"
***indicates to girl next to him. Girl has descendents and straight edge tattoos. Girl: I don't do drugs
"I ain't afraid of nobody I don't care who they are, what size they are, what club they belong to... I'll fight em. If they say shit and throw the first punch I'll fight em. I don't care. I don't give a shit. I don't care. I'll fight anyone. 12 months in jail, doesn't mean anything. 18 months. My friend did 18 months; killed a guy. 18 months for killing a guy. Didn't mean nothing. I'd fight anyone."
Bus pulls up. Man elects to stay behind. Girl stands up to walk away, man continues to talk. Girl continues to listen. Her face looks like she has smelled the bottom of her shoe after stepping in something soft.
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