BIG SHAMPOO
Ingredients:
Sea Salt (Sodium Chloride), Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Fresh Lemon Infusion (Citrus limonum), Toothed Wrack Seaweed Infusion (Fucus serratus), Scottish Sea Water (Aqua), Cocamide DEA, Lauryl Betaine, Fresh Lime Juice (Citrus limetta), Coconut Oil (Cocos nucifera), Neroli Oil (Citrus amara), Mandarin Oil (Citrus nobilis), Vanilla Absolute (Vanilla planifolia), Orris Absolute (Iris florentina), Perfume, Methylparaben, Propylparaben.
Once, in the brief 8 month period when I drank, someone threw a rubbish bin that was refuse for long-spent tequila slammers in my face. As I slipped in the wet grass and wiped a stinging lather out of my eyes, I thought to myself, when will this be bottled for my pleasure.
For times when I want to remember having limes thrown at me while swimming in the red sea... or dropping my fruit salad cup in the salinated wheat farms of the wheatbelt... this shampoo is for me.
The strong lather is more than is necessary in a turkish bath house. Soon my forearms are soaped up and slippery. I lick my lips nervously. When my neighbour flushes her toilet and the showerhead spastically sprays ice cold torrents fresh off the Arctic, I instinctively bite down on the towel rail and try to relax.
Is this shampoo about destroying something beautiful? Like that turd movie Ed Norton was in. Bye bye oscar nomination.
Trying to remove the pungent imagery from my mind I read the label. Lime, salt, shiny, seaweed. Hey, I think this is what I used to drink...
While I have been cursed with a hairline resembling the outgoing tide of Broome beaches, I always follow every shampoo trend. And if I can transform some of my dried seaweed tentacles into flowing live silken threads, then I am more than happy to invoke memories I, and my psychiatristm thought long suppressed. Analsty suprise. A ring of truth. But hair that shines.
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