Abstraction

I don't know if it's ironic to listen to heavy as shit music on noise-canceling headphones. I spent nights in the fortnight preceding staying up to midnight jacked on caffeine, listening to pig destroyer records and watching static rolls on the tv... total isolation, total fear, total paranoia... Eventually you buy into everything and start sleeping with a baseball bat under your bed. Everything has a thin veneer and underneath... pain... And the loneliness.

And then you start to understand the rationale behind a State Department with the agency to legally separate dependents. Behind all the reports and the departmental restructures and third management tier is an organisation with designated legal authority to stop someone putting out cigarette butts on a 2 year old. That is the basic underlying premise. If you do that often enough eventually everything narrows down to a single dot and small steps off high ledges don't mean shit.

You can think listen to pig destroyer as blast beats, sure. Crazy 'edgy' samples, deep growls. Uncomfortable little girl preoccupations. Or you can accept everything as a completely serious construction of a natural response to the natural world. In many ways it's like watching flicking between news channels real fast... rape, murder, abandonment, terror, repeat, rinse, cycle. Follow blast beats with 12 minute samples of 911 calls and men crying and court proceedings...