Timesheet Audit 2

480 minute standard day

less 10 minute coffee break at 0815

less 5 minute conversation break at 0825

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 0826

less 12 minute phone call at 0828

less 10 minute coffee break at 0945

less 5 minute conversation break at 0955

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 0956

less 12 minute phone call at 0958

less 10 minute coffee break at 1615

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 1616

less 12 minute phone call at 1618

less 5 minute conversation break at 1625

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 1626

less 12 minute phone call at 1628

less 10 minute coffee break at 1745

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 1746

less 12 minute phone call at 1748

less 5 minute conversation break at 1755

less 1 minute taking the scenic route at 1756

less 12 minute phone call at 1758

Somedays (Some Day)

CC the line manager, liberal use of the word 'advise' throughout my phone patter, short sleeve open neck shirts. Tea bag binned by 815, ink stained sleeves at 430. Do a on Monday so b can be done Tuesday so c is completed by Thursday so d is ready on Friday leading to a the following Monday. My life could be a Kelvinator, wheezing away in the back. Constant temperature. Chip off the ice. Once a year hustle it to the grass and hose the insides out. Some days I think I'd rather be stacking shelves at Woolworths. Some days I think I'd rather be doing anything else. I lie in bed and I think, if I just didn't go to work, if I skipped today, and then did not go the next day, and turn that into a week of leave, and then a month of absence, and changed my phone number, and mark all official correspondence return-to-sender. Who would even notice. Maybe I will throw myself in front of a car. It wouldn't be hard. It would be easy. To terminate this negative feedback loop.

Isn't it Funny How as the Years Extend So Too Does the Distance You Are Required to Stand From the Office When Smoking

Across the road, at the park

On the steps, downwind

In the quadrangle, with other tragics

In the office bar, with other livewires

Anywhere on your floor, two packs a day

At your desk, straight into your bosses face, making him cough and choke and cause spittle to gather in the corner's of his mouth, as he waves his hand in front of his face trying to fan the cloud away, even while you are unleashing another sunblotting mushroom cloud, until he turns away and takes whatever overdue report he wanted amended back to his desk, back to his office, closes his door, and in the future learns a less confrontational approach, learns his lesson.

Kill Your Head 2

Slamdancing the Door on the Way Out

I am looking for a developmental opportunity. I am looking to expand my horizons. I need to be challenged (not a challenge), I need to structure (not to be structured), I need an environment that offers accountability and responsive management (not fist fights with the boss). Yes to: have developed skills over 2 years past that I am keen to apply to a new set of circumstances in an at-level transfer within the Department. No to: let me out of this hell hole before I fucking crack. Don't tell them you need to escape the stifling heat created by so many jerks blowing hot air out of their arses. That you don't find yourself capable of anything other than menial administration, regardless of your attempts to pad your CV and boast about your IQ. That your cubicle is closing in and you are going to crack. That you need to cut the cord but can't accept a dole queue. Don't give them something they can hold against you, mark you down. You need this. You need this. Don't give them quarter.

CC Clusterfuck

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Subj: FWD: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:
CC: dr1_dl; dr2_dl
BCC: (me)

Body:

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Bureaucrat's Antithesis (Dead Weight)

Owns no shoes. No watch. Wears bead bracelets and friendship bands made from coloured string and raw leather hide twists. Does not buy clothes. Does not change clothes. Opts not for a towel but to drip dry on the beach. Possibly does not own a towel (does not carry dead weight when travelling). Does not read on the train reads all the time. Inhales books. Inhales books from libraries. Drinks jasmine tea out of small glasses. Has considered opinions about some things. Has opinions on all things. Pot. Alcohol. Can wear a suit, can count times has worn suit on hand. All year tan. Leaves books in hostels in south american countries (does not carry dead weight). Lives off savings, lives off mum. Calico bags, potting plants. Wakes up in the morning and thinks, I am going to do only what I want to do today, and that could be anything. And rolls over and sleeps to late morning.